- The voting public of Ypsilanti, ND, c/o Rep. Earl Pomeroy
- United States of America
The Ypsilanti Gentlemen's Club (http://www.ypsilantigentlemensclub.com), a local non-profit organization, uncovered a startling truth: Years ago, some North Dakotan yokels decided to try and bring some class to their new town the only way they knew how: STEALING. We just want back what's ours. Please help.
We, the undersigned, request, nay, demand, that the voting citizens of Ypsilanti, ND sever all ties with the name "Ypsilanti," as it is already in use by a much larger, more educated, and better groomed populace in Michigan.
Your claim to the name "Ypsilanti" is null and void due to our overwhelmingly classier resources and infrastructure, including but not limited to a university, community college, working library, and indoor plumbing, not to mention our majestically-shaped Water Tower (see: http://www.cabinetmagazine.org/phallic/winner.php). We trust that this will be settled in a calm, civilized manner, which, judging from the google maps image we used to discover your stupid town, is probably impossible. We implore you to try anyway.
The above, translated into North Dakotan: Change the name of your retarded town, ya bums.
The Change Your Name, Ypsilanti ND! petition to The voting public of Ypsilanti, ND, c/o Rep. Earl Pomeroy was written by ypsilanti gentlemen and is in the category City & Town Planning at GoPetition.