Show The Fords You Care. On Thanksgiving Day Don't Be There.

We the people of LionsNation, in order to obtain a more perfect football team, establish expectations, insure domestic tranquility, provide for a competent offense and defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of Championships to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Petition for the LionsNation of America.

When in the course of human ineptitude, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the emotional bands which have connected them with their football team, and to assume the powers of the purse, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Competition and of The Marketplace entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of fans requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all fans are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of a championship. That whenever any NFL owner becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Fans to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Ownership, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Ownership, and to provide new guards for their future security.

And for the support of this Petition, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred tickets.