- Target:
- HM Government
- Region:
- United Kingdom
There is a crisis brewing in Britain that needs urgent political attention before it’s too late. British Gas's residential business has reported a small drop in profits for 2013 due to warmer weather and higher wholesale energy costs. Adjusted operating profit for the full year came in at £571m, down 6% on the £606m recorded a year earlier.
Owner Centrica also posted a dip in profits, at £2.7bn, down from £2.74bn. The scale of this crisis will be felt by all but particularly the chief executive Sam Laidlaw, who was paid a salary, benefits and cashing of shares to the total of £4.3m.
According to Lenny Henry, who has visited some houses with double garages in Surrey for ‘Shareholders in need’, ‘this footage we already have makes the 80s clips of skinny African kids look like a fucking pool party.’ It includes-
• Second and third houses in Devon and Nice not getting the refurbishment that they so desperately need to be ‘this season’.
• Butlers and nannies will be treated with a slightly more terse tone and then apologised to.
• Equities fund managers will frown more than usual and this may lead to crow’s feet.
• Montessori and Steiner schools will have loads of parents looking a bit glum at the school gates.
• ‘Ways I’m going to optimise my potential today ’ lists on fridge doors all over Surrey will be ignored.
• Children in Sussex and Kent will have to wait a few weeks longer for a horse and they may well go in a huff about it.
• Animals desperate to be shot and mounted in hallways will have to wait a bit longer, or even worse, miss their chance altogether.
• People who sell white trousers with pastel shirts and sweaters that drape over the shoulders will sell a few less.
• The hinges on driveway security gates will squeak because people aren’t getting staff to buy WD40.
If you don’t want any of these things to happen then please act now. Centrica normally pays two dividends to shareholders each year, in June and November.
If we act now we can make sure that the June dividend can start the process of repairs to damaged share portfolios all over London.
We the undersigned sign this petition to ask David Cameron to provide urgent support to British Gas shareholders in their time of need.
We the undersigned ask that this is done before Phil Collins and Bono get involved.
We, the undersigned, call on Ed Milliband to stop being so awkward about this whole energy thing. And to stop looking so rubbery.
We the undersigned believe that in this country we have a long-standing and proud tradition of helping shareholders with taxpayers’ money when it looks like their investments might be under threat.
Let’s not abandon them now.
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