louise to fall in love with me again petition

its been 3 and a half years since i met lou at the download festival, id met her briefly before that but had been too drunk to notice much of anything really, my first real thoughts of her what was that she was cool and pretty foxy, shes from the big smoke and being a country boy thats was just cool. we seamed to like all the same things,even star trek!. we had a instant connection. we did the long distance thing for about a year and a half which initself was pretty good going,it had its good and bad moments but mainly good because i fell for her, in the end i had to be with her more than just every so often so we moved intogether, those first couple of months were amazing, i had everthing i wanted and would have married her then and there if she would have had me, which she would have,such is life that i became ill with a mysteries headache/vertigo thing that never seems to stop,for a long time she put up with it admirably,me being miserable and not being able to do much, it took its toll though financially,i tried but i couldnt work, my main regret i didnt do enough to get better, a stupid belief that the nhs would make me better,for 7 months they gave me drugs that made me feel worse, the longer it went on the more i turned away from her,demanded things from her,little by little i changed the women that i love until her resentment and hatred for the position id put us in became too much..
this is my past and i hate it,but i cant do anything about it. i can only influence the future..

i know she changed, become a stronger more confident lou which rules,i know she has plans for the future that dont involve me,but im going to get better and i want u to feel something like u used to for me and when that happens...