Bring Back Zima

We, the faithful imbibers of Zima (as well ad Zima Citrus, Zima, Tangerine, and Zima Gold) since 1993, are hereby petitioning the MillerCoors Brewing Company to reconsider its controversial decision to discontinue the manufacture and distribution of this fine malt beverage.

We proud and intrepid Zima drinkers have managed to look past Zima's ill-advised, credibility-killing "Zomething Different" advertising campaign of the early '90s; have resisted switching from Zima to more popular "malternative" beverages like Smirnoff Ice and Mike's Hard Lemonade; have continued to bravely drink Zima in public despite catcalls of "it zucks!" and "tastes like zhit!" from smart-alecky fellow bar patrons; and have even realized that Zima is an excellent (and much more potent) substitute for tonic water in various cocktail recipes. For our devotion to this oft-unfairly-maligned alcopop beverage, we deserve to be able to continue enjoying its fresh citrus essence and bubbly effervescence.

We therefore ask MillerCoors to at least allow Zima to become available for purchase online and in stores.